It’s a little over 3 hours until we celebrate our one year anniversary.  I am sitting here wondering what profound words I can drum up for this momentous occasion.  It has been a super year, filled with happy times. I can quite easily say that it’s also been the best year of my life.  I say this casually, but I see that given how many couples don’t feel this a year down the line, I realize I have just achieved my aim of writing something rather profound.  I suppose that’s it really: in it’s sameness, it’s been quite deliciously delectable. 

For many years now, I have been asking myself why so many couples divorce.  And then I ask why so many other couples stick together. And then I try and find the distinction between the two groups. I think what I have realized having lived with Daniel for a year (and we all have our annoying little habits), is that it has to do with one thing and one thing only: perspective.  Not reality, but perspective, and how one chooses to see the situation in which he finds himself.

I am reminded of the first piece I ever wrote about Daniel for our engagement.  Daniel, ish chamudot: Daniel, man of sweetness.  In that piece I asked why the phrase was not Daniel, ish chamud (in the singular).  I answered that because even though it is one person, with Daniel there is just so much sweetness, that it simply has to be written in the plural, to emphasize the abundance of sweetness in this one individual; in other words, this piece was written for Daniel Sass.  A year later, I still believe that.  However, on writing that piece, I thought it meant something different to what I think now.  I thought it meant that Daniel was just all sweetness, light, sensitive and cute because that was the side he showed me while wooing me. 

Since then, I have found that he can actually be quite INsensitive at times, but I still come back to the same description of him:  Daniel, ish chamudot: Daniel, man of abundant sweetness.  Why?  Daniel is sweet in the sweetness he creates in his environment. No matter what is going on in his life, no matter how bad it is, Daniel will MAKE it good. If it is raining outside, Daniel doesn’t get wet; he smiles up at the most beautiful rainbow he has ever seen.  No matter what is happening, Daniel – my ish chamudot – has to find the positive. Whether it is because he is always in denial, or just because of his nature, it is almost as if the world HAS to be sweet to Daniel and thus where there is bitterness, he brings honey.  Just like the clever bear who appeared to all others to have a little brain, Daniel’s simple nature cleverly transforms an oft-harsh world into a better place.

Emma