Engagement: Mark 2 - "The Dress"

So things are advancing quite nicely thank you. Despite being in a country in which we don't know the language, my fiancé and I have: secured a (beautiful) hall, booked a wedding coordinator, and are narrowing down potential bands.

I finalized my dress design in Ranana this past Friday. Until then it'd been a bit stressful as the places I'd visited in Jerusalem didn't feel, I dunno, quite right somehow. Probably because one time I went and tried on a dress I felt like an over-huge meringue perched on a stand. I thought to myself "yeah this is fine; it'll work" and quite frankly couldn't wait to get the damn thing off (netting 'n' all). I realize now it had nothing to do with the shop, but the fact that I was standing there alone.

When I went on Friday it was with my (super) sister-in-law to-be, her (even fabber) two daughters and my parents. It was a friend who'd suggested I take my mum. "Are you going to take your mum?" she asked.
"Nah, I don't think so…she's not so bothered about coming."
"Oh really?," enquired said friend. "Emma, let me tell you something. Your mother has waited your whole life (and in my case this is longer than most brides!) for this occasion. Of course she wants to come."

So I called said mum and asked if indeed this was the case and she did want to come. "Oh yes," she replied and as I looked at her tilted head and near-teary-eyes as I was standing on the little stand (common to bridal stores it seems) looking like an over-large meringue, this time I felt fantastic. Was it because the dress was more beautiful than the one I'd tried on in Jerusalem? Nah. It was because people from my past and future were there with me. Watching me with pride, expectations, anticipations and sheer joy.

Getting a wedding gown is indeed a momentous occasion; a real opportunity for the shehechiyanu prayer (which I forgot, but Hashem You know I was thinking of You, so please forgive) and for me personally, a real milestone.

It's not about the dress of course. I'm sure all brides look beautiful. It's about the story beforehand – the past; and of course the one you anticipate afterwards – the future. Likewise it's not about what anyone thinks of your groom. It's about how he makes you feel; how compatible he is with your past and how certain you are he thus has all the right components to complete you in the future.

Throughout my life I've seen my father cautious with money. It's a fantastic lesson I've learnt well and Baruch Hashem due to this limmud I've never been in debt and always been careful.

But something's been happening during our wedding planning. Granted, prices for everything are about a quarter of those in England and indeed my father's probably made huge interest on his savings for my wedding (he's been doing it long enough!) but it's more than that.

Standing on the stand like an over-huge meringue, I enquired about prices.

"Six thousand shekels" assistant woman replied. (I make about half of that a month!)
"Right then, shall I put a deposit down?" asked dad.

I've never seen my father so willing, no eager to part with his money as he is now. But I guess that's part of the same thing I'm seeing during this wedding planning. It's not about the money; forking out for a wedding for parents is about uniting the past and future and seeing a completion (of sorts) of all your work.

With special thanks to my parents and my fiancé…

Emma